Ask for a reference without the cringe
Write the email that asks a former manager or colleague for a reference: warm, formal, short-notice, or after years out of touch. Fill in six details and copy it. Runs on your device, nothing uploaded.
Quick answer
Ask before you give anyone's name to an employer. A good request does four things in a few lines: says which role and employer it is for, reminds them exactly when and where you worked together, gives the date the reference is needed by, and offers to send the job description plus the two points you would like highlighted. Always make it easy to decline — a reluctant reference is worse than no reference.
Runs on this device. Anything you leave blank stays as a [bracket] for you to fill.
Subject
A quick favour — reference for a [role title] role
Hi [their first name], I hope things are good with you. I am applying for a [role title] position at [employer], and you are the person I would most like them to hear from about [where you worked together, and when]. Would you be willing to act as a reference? It would most likely be one short email or a fifteen-minute call, and they would need it by [date they need it by]. If it helps, I can send the job description and a short note on the two things I would like to highlight, so you are not writing from memory. Either way, no pressure at all — and it would be good to catch up. Best, [your name]
Default choice for someone you are still in touch with. Ask, do not assume, and give them an easy way to say no.
Get the reference playbook by email
Who to ask in which order, how to brief a referee in three lines, and what to do when a former manager has left the company.
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